Journal! Journal!

Engagement Announcement

2008-09-18T05:23:57Z

I’ll be in Madison for Geek.Kon Saturday, Sept. 27th , as well as the day after. Liz, my fiancée, will also be there for the Con.

Attention, Magic players in Madison (who I want to play EDH and Legacy with): My brother Craig wants to start playing competive Legacy, but can’t find a group that plays Legacy tournaments on any kind of basis. Do you have any recommendations for him?

Anyway, as you may or may not know by now, I’m engaged. If you didn’t know by now, it’s okay. Not everyone checks facebook compulsively. Many of you hardly know anything about me since I left Madison (or whenever else we parted ways). I’d love to get reacquainted with you, so I especially encourage you to leave comments or questions, related or unrelated. Everybody else reading this is encouraged quite a bit, but not as much as the people who don’t really know me anymore.

So, I’ll start painting this picture as broad as I can. As most of you know, I left MATC for the four-year college UW-Eau Claire (UWEC) in the winter of 2007. I went there mainly for three reasons. Firstly, and most importantly, I had a friend who was going to school there, Ben Freeman. He’s got a facebook profile, look him up. If it wasn’t for him, I probably would have gone to UW-Miluakee, or perhaps some school in Minnesota. I also picked Eau Claire because I could choose a philosophy major. I’d wanted to do philosophy since meeting Eric Brooks [/facebook shoutout] when I was a sophomore in high school. I also wanted to go UWEC for a while because I had a girlfriend living in the city, but we’d broken up by the time I made my decision, so it didn’t weigh that much. Maybe a bit, having already made up my mind a bit. She’s Ashley Albrecht (also facebook). Though we don’t really talk anymore, we’re on good terms. We met at an anime convention that Ben Freeman (hooray, Ben!) introduced me to in Eau Claire No Brand Con (www.nobrandcon.com). The convention is run mostly by university students. The year after I met Ashley, Liz joined No Brand Con, and went on to the treasurer, the head of cosplay, and the head of art over the span of ’06 until now. It wasn’t long after I hooked up with Liz than I started going to No Brand Con meetings with her. I kept going to No Brand Con meetings, and was staff during most of 2007. I quit the con this fall, and don’t really want to go into the reasons why right now. They are many, complicated and leave me feeling angry. Leave a comment if you want to know why.
Anyway, I ultimately met Liz through the lunch table I sat at. I went at making Ben Freeman’s friends my friends, and ate at the same table he did at lunch. We socialized, joked, and played a lot of card games like Corporate Shuffle, Flux, and some kung fu game that was really cool. One day this cute girl was giving people head massages, and said I wanted one, too. She gave me one, I gave her one, and we both loved them. Later, after I learned she played Magic, I invited her to come over to a mutual friends’ place to play and build decks. It was there that I asked her out. She suggested Mongolian BBQ at China Buffet, but we wound up going to the Acoustic.
So, that’s how we met. She’s also into D&D and pretty much any other game you play on a tabletop. She’s a Biochemistry major, so it’s kind of interesting knowing that we’d probably never meet if it wasn’t for that clique. I’d spend all my time taking classes in the humanitites building, and she would stay in the science building. Her reaction to religion is generally “no thanks,” and I considered majoring in it.
Fast forward a year and a half to this month, about a couple weeks ago, to when I became sure that I wanted to marry Liz. We’d just started living together, and even though we are still having arguments and adjusting to it, I realized that I could make a promise to live and love with Liz for the rest of my life. I took a two dollar bill out of my wallet, and gave it to her. Aside from the blanket I had when I was an infant, that two dollar bill was probably my oldest possession. I believe I got it for my 2nd birthday. I can’t remember it ever being anything other than one of my oldest possessions. I had it on my bulletin board in high school, and I had the bill pinned there. When I was penniless, I could look at that and say “I may be almost broke, but I still have that in my possession.” When I got my first “real” job with Burlington Coat Factory via Elizabeth van Styn (who has facebook) when I was 18, I bought a nice leather wallet, and started carrying the two dollar bill around with me. And I kept doing it until quite recently. The bill stopped being money to me, and started being a priceless, Glamour-filled object. Back when I was 16, my first girlfriend Alicia Hallenbeck (I friended just a couple days ago) wanted me to give it to her, but I never did. I decided long ago that it would be a great gift, but not good enough to give to somebody who wasn’t going to be my wife. So, I guess what I’m saying is that I didn’t give Liz an engagement ring, but I had something to give her since before Alicia and I had our one-month anniversary. Liz gave me her oldest possession, a stuffed animal, a white kitty. There were tears, it was cute.
Anyway, we’re to be wed. It won’t be soon; we plan to marry March 21st, 2010, the semester after the last one I anticipate having. I suppose if something terrible happens and I need to take another semester of school, we’ll do next March 21st. I’m pretty big on that date. Other than that, we’re pretty unsure about the specifics. Liz wants it underneath a big, awesome tree, and I want a lamb killed at the moment of marriage, and served at the reception. I’ve told Liz this, but I don’t know if she knows how serious I am. I also want a Unitarian minister to perform the ceremony, because as an agnostic philosopher, it’s the closest religion I can get while remaining true to myself.

I'm in big-kid college now!

2007-02-13T07:43:00Z

Holy crap. I'm taking notes on Augustine, and in one example I just compared one of his ideas to the Triforce. And for another section on Augustine, I closed with a passage from the Bone Flower Dharma Book.
Yessir, I'm livin' the dream. I think most of you know this, but I'm going to a real, live four-year college in Eau Claire now. And as you can see, the classes are pretty awesome.

Hey, I'm using livejournal.

2006-12-10T05:43:43Z

http://www.librarything.com/suggest.php

Hey, according to Librarything.com's Unsuggest engine, these are the least likely books to be in my library, (QFT my myspace page. It's slightly out of date. Also, I would link to an author, but pretty much all you gotta do is link the name into Amazon or Librarything's enginges to get results.)

1) The purpose driven church : growth without compromising your message & mission
2) A generous or+hodoxy : why I am a missional, evangelical, post/Protestant, liberal/conservative, mystical/poetic, biblic by Brian D. McLaren (from both The Waste Lands and the Drawing of the Three)
3) The Passion of Jesus Christ : fifty reasons why He came to die
4) Systematic theology : an introduction to biblical doctrine
5) The dangerous duty of delight
6) The kite runner
7) Neverwhere (is acually on my myspace list. It's the one that unsuggested The purpose driven church : growth without compromising your message & mission)
8) Eldest
9) The Second Summer of the Sisterhood

Wow, most of these books look TOTALLY AWESOME. If not that, then at least interesting to read. Most of them.

At least one person I'm adressing reads this journal

2006-08-14T16:27:02Z

Hey guys. Sorry I've been ignoring you all. I've been feeling kinda stressed lately. I seem to be dealing with my stress by isolating myself and ignoring my friends, thus making me more stressed out because I'm _ignoring my friends._ I need to get a long list of things done before I can listen to proposals like "Droo let's hang out/do stuff before the summer ends and I have to go back to college."
That's pretty much it.

I need to finish my resume, send it all over town, apply for my last class this fall, and check out to see if they have health insurance for part-time students. And if they don't, well, I guess I'll be taking nine extra credits I don't need.

oh, and send out my grades to 4-year colleges because I'm going to transfer out of MATC at the end of this semester. Or sit on my ass for a semester or two because it's too late to get in on anything this upcoming spring semester.

Do this for me!

2006-03-28T00:35:08Z

Alright guys, we're going to try this, I made out a Johari Window and a Nohari Window to map out my strengths and weaknesses, respectively.
Whatch out, this is gonna be... intense.

St. Patrick's Day soundbyte.

2006-03-18T00:38:36Z

What exactly does St. Patrick's day celebrate?
I assume a guy named St. Patrick did something important, but what *are we celebrating?* It really bugs me that everyone dresses up in green and tries to drink themselves to death celebrating a holiday that nobody even knows what it's about.
In the two or three years I've been thinking about this, only one person has been able to give me a satisfactory anwser.

It all feels so... *sacreligous.* And I feel more and more ashamed of our race as I look around today.
My closest friend at work (a buddhist sorcerer), took off work today so he could go to Chicago and get completely smashed today, and tomorrow.

Until further notice, St. Patrick's day is not to be celebrated by *anyone* except fucking *cathloics* who know what the holiday is about, and proceed doing it with a religous attitude.

EDIT: Mardi Gras also bugs me. But less so, and for a partially different reason.

I just fell in love with spinzoa.

2006-03-06T00:29:38Z

Well guys, it seems as if I've remembered how to roll Arete and spend Willpower.
Yay being productive!

this is more of an update than the previous one.

2006-02-24T23:27:00Z

ZOMG! Droo logs in for the first time in a month (or so), and finds out he's been taged!

What were three things when you were little you wanted to be when you grew up?
A video game counselor at Nintendo Power, a voice actor and a movie star. And to be independentley wealthy, but I never really thought that would happen.

You can live one day over again from your childhood. What day will it be?
provided childhood is pre-highschool, the first day of any summer vacation in Ames.

You have two minutes (and a mover with you if you need heavy lifting help!) to grab 5 things from your home before it morphs into a polka dotted hobgoblin and hops away. What will you take? (Food/drink/family/friends excluded!)
My computer, my bookshelf (with everything still in it), my... *shrug.* Excluding clothes and shoes and a coat for obvious practical reasons, books and computer are the only things that really stand out to me.

You have to paint one quote on your kitchen wall. Whats it going to be?
"For what purpose humanity is there should not even concern us: why you are there, that you should ask yourself: and if you have no ready answer, then set for yourself goals, high and noble goals, and perish in pursuit of them! I know of no better life purpose than to perish in attempting the great and the impossible..."
Nietzsche, unpublished note from the 1873

What is one thing you want to have accomplished by the end of this year?
ELIMINATE ALL DEBTS! ('cept those long-term ones to my dad for tuition. Those don't count. Yet.)

You are moving to the moon for one year and can only bring one flower with you. What kind will you bring?
Roses.

You just received word that aside from one flower, you can also bring five books with you too!
Your choices?
The Bible, The Quer'an, The Complete Works of William Shakespeare, some book on or by Hegel, and a good RPG corebook. Y'know, for the mooninites.

I TAG: Hydra, Bridget and Joe

Tomato Scouts unite!

2006-02-24T22:00:16Z

Madisonians!

Jason Webley, the finest musician alive, is coming to town this saturday, and I'm inviting you all to come. Even if you haven't even heard of him. Zee and Tony, I'm looking at you. Need further convincing? Here's some bootlegs from various shows some guy collected: http://www.michaelhanscom.com/tomatoscouts/
It's at nine in in the evening, at The Weary Traveller (1201 Williamson St). It's a five dollar suggested donation, so even if you don't enjoy the music you can come and say hi to me. I haven't seen either of you two in forever.

doot?

2005-11-29T02:31:45Z

Okay guys, it's high time to bring back the epithet. First names are good for a quick and easy way to distinguish people, last names are nice for determining lineage but as things stand, the middle name is stupid and useless. That's why it should be replaced by the epithet. "Droo who Marshals the Thunderheads" sounds about a hundred times cooler than "Droo Engblom." Even though people don't say their middle name, if we re-introduced the epithet we could teach their to take pride in their epitet! When meaning to impress a faire belle of age, my son will refer to himslef as "Gabriel the Enfocer of Nemesi.
Okay, okay. I probably won't know that he'd be a Nemisis Enforcer, when I had to name him at birth. There are two possible solutions to this quandry I've entertained, but I seem to favor the latter. If you had to name them at birth, there are still a good number of attributes determinable at that time. Gabriel the Active could work if he was always kicking in the womb.
But, I think this is a better way, and compliant to the requirements of having the above. At age thirteen, they would have a re-naming ceremony, during which the parents would have both a more detialed and/or specific epithet, and one more likely to be true. How embarrassing it would be to be named "Droo who is Like a Mountian," just because I had a high birth weight!

Sex Meme

Sexual orientation: Though I've fantasized about some males, there's no use denying what is pretty much hetrosexuality. Mr. Kinsey would probably give me a one, *maybe* a two.

How often do you think about sex: At least once a day.

How often do you HAVE sex: The last time vagina-to-penis sex happened was the summer before this one. Oral sex, on the other hand, was on August 4th. Cybering dosen't count.

Worst sexual experience: When I realized I was having sex with someone I wasn't really attracted to, and only for the penile stimulation. Being out of shape isn't too good for your sexual self-esteem, either.

What is your favorite masturbation euphemism: Flogging the Dolphin, after a few seconds of thought. Because it makes so little sense.

Cybersex? Phone sex?: Sure, why the hell not. It's a great variation on the usual masturbation when you're in a long-distance relationship.

Casual sex: Done it, enjoyed it. Fantastic, just as long as everyone is on the same page, that a relationship is *not* wanted. I had to cut off a casual-sex relationship once, because it was getting a little too routine, and it felt like she wanted it to be something more.

Sex toys and related fetish accessories: Lotion. For myself. *cries in corner*

Least sexiest part: Probably the back.

Favorite body type: Smaller than me. Related, doe-eyes (Athena eyes!) are way more hot than foxy eyes.

Body hair: love it, like any other part of the body. Female moustaches can be a bit gross if they're huge and prominent, but that's about my only caveat.

Monogamy or non-monogamy?: Monogamy

Underwear: Sometimes boxers, sometimes briefs. It all depends on what I have clean. XD

Pornographic or erotic: Pornographic. I've yet to run across a satisfactory definition of erotic to distinguish itself sufficiently from pornographic, though.

How large is your porn collection?: I'm still in the habit I got by living with parents of deleting traces of porn as soon as I've finished with it for the night. I've got a bit, but not much.

Favorite hair color: Though black can look very sexy on some people, red will always be my favorite.

Kissing or cuddling?: Cuddling. There's no anxiety about if you're doing it well or not. :)

Most attractive nationality/ethnicity: Caucasian. I could probably be more specific if I knew more about the physical characteristics associated with the various caucasian nations.

Most interesting fetishes you've heard of: I've read, and forgotten about, way too many Awful Links of the Day to make a call like that. Off the top of my head, MPREG seems the silliest, therefore the the most interesting.

YOUR Fetishes: Actual fetishes? None; just kinks. You'd probably not know expect it, but recently (well, last summer) I've come to the realization that I'd probably enjoy domination. Hey, power is sexy. Power over others is sexy. Though it's not so much physical control or superiority that I enjoy, as it is mental.

Come see me! Swallow flaming knives!

2005-11-29T00:03:24Z

It might be that after my class involving much touching ladyflesh, we saw a romantic movie in film class. It might be that compared to up north, this morning felt warm, like spring. The immediately-after-rain scent is lovely, too.
Regardless, come see Droo exist as a sexual entity! I'm not exactly sure what it is that set me off *today;* maybe it's me rebounding from dumpage, maybe a week (well, not exatly a week) of Deer Camp re-energized me, but I've just had an incredible urge to bed down every female that made eye contact with me today (plus one I talked to on the phone). This translates into fliratation on my part, and vague alienation on their part. But hey, that's okay! That's all life is really about: making friends, and then alienating them with sexual tension! Awesome! I should call up someone later this evening, and alienate them with sexual tension! It'll be great!

Love is Destructive

2005-11-14T23:25:07Z

Sorry?
Sorry for what?
Sorry that I'm not just gonna say, "It's cool, we can still be friends?"
Sorry that she pains me in way so deep the two of you can only speculate?
Sorry I ever met her?

Yeah, I guess I'm sorry, too.

Do you have the slightest idea what it feels like to be used, lied to, and then tossed aside like a spent cumrag? To be traded in for a newer model? Christ, by a margin of 15 days I'm not even 21.
That's a good eight years before I'm even supposed to be self-concious about my age.

On one hand, I doubt she will ever read this letter, and all my words are simply falling upon the ears of an innocent bystander. You're her friend, you'll never tell her what I want her to hear.
But there's always the chance that she's with you right now, reading over your shoulder. Ashley, does it hurt? I doubt it. Five minutes of discomfort dosen't count. I wish I was there with you right now, so I could personally plunge the dread dagger into your heart. Maybe I'll twist it around a bit, to make plenty sure it hurts you as much as you hurt me. I'd love to see the look on your face, sweety.

Ashley, I hope your poison womb never concieves.

forever
Droo

Yay for pointless quizzes!

2005-11-13T21:13:34Z

Taken from evilshoebox, taken from Eric.

The Task: Choose a band/artist and answer ONLY IN SONG TITLES by that band:

Artist/Band: Pink Floyd

Are you male or female: Mudmen

Describe yourself: Learning to Fly

How do some people feel about you: Brain Damage

How do you feel about yourself: One of my Turns

Describe what you want to be: Outside The Wall

Describe how you live: Careful With That Axe, Eugene

Describe how you love: Wish You Were Here

Share a few words of wisdom: The Show Must Go On

Heartbreak: a bitch

2005-11-12T06:09:48Z

She hangs on her, prompting questions about her ambigous sexuality, while he jacks off to stale porn.

I'm tired of being somebody's learning expierence.

Mise en Scène in The End of Evangelion: Kabbalah before Madonna

2005-11-07T11:06:56Z

"If you don't understand it [Neon Genesis Evangelion], it is your own problem."
-- Director Anno Hideaki

When describing The End of Evangelion, most armchair analysts categorize it as incomprehensible. While that assessment has some merit, too many viewers shut their brain off, and cast the movie into the same lot as Pink Floyd’s The Wall, and Dali’s "Un Chien Andalou.” Rife with symbology, even its plot is difficult to discern without frequent examination of its mise en scène. All of the film’s symbols, though, correspond to various things in the emanationist Jewish mystic sect, Kabbalah.

The first thing that needs to be said about The End of Evangelion is that it is not, by any means, stand-alone. It is the direct sequel to a Japanese anime series, “Neon Genesis Evangelion.” Unlike other movies that are direct sequels of TV shows, like Serenity or Star Trek, The End of Evangelion does not spend any time attempting to create a synopsis for those who aren’t familiar with the show; it dives right in. Fan folklore has it that because Neon Genesis Evangelion’s ending was so disliked (i.e., death threats at the director and vehement hate-mail), the studio which made the series, Gainax, re-hired Neon Genesis Evangelion’s chronically depressed director, Hideaki Anno, to create a feature film for retelling Neon Genesis Evangelion’s end, which would have a high budget and 90 minutes to tell it’s tale instead of a paltry 44 minute span (the length of the last two episodes). This, and to insure The End of Evangelion would be as dark as Neon Genesis Evangelion, Gainax had Anno stop taking medicine for his depression.
The End of Evangelion was released in 1997. Its America release was in 2002, and the leading American voice-actors were Spike Spencer, Amanda Winn Lee, and Tiffany Grant. The End of Evangelion opens with SEELE hacking into NERV's core, three supercomputers known as the “Magi.” NERV (German for “nerve”) is contracted out to the JSSDF, or “Japanese Strategic Self Defense Forces.” It is JSSDF’s job to stop 18 supernatural entities, known as “Angels.” Beneath NERV’s headquarters hangs Lilith, mother of angels and demons, hangs crucified and bleeding LCL, the primordial soup from which all life begins. It is said that if an angel would come in contact with Lilith, the result would end destroy humanity. SEELE (German for “soul”) is a shadowy clandestine organization that more or less runs NERV by way of its puppets, chief commander Gendo Ikari, Fuyutsuki Kouzou, assistant commander, and Ritsuko Akagi, head programmer. The hacking was in response to Gendo betraying SEELE. SEELEE’s agenda was the exact opposite of the JSSDF party line of “saving humanity from destruction.” Prior to NERV’s organization, SEELE undertook an expedition to the Antarctic to recover the embryo of Adam: God’s first creation, man or angel. After NERV had killed all 18 angels, (using giant robot-technology, also courtesy SEELE. However, these giant robots, these evangelion, were actually soulless clones of Adam) an evangelion, bearer of Adam’s essence, could merge with Lilith. This new entity would unite with all of humanity’s souls into one pseudo-entity, thereby extinguishing any and all strife in existence. A bit of a different goal than “save humanity from rampaging angels.” Gendo betrayed SEELE by merging with Adam. This would allow Gendo/Adam to be able to merge with Lilith. If this happened the entity-entity to possess the mind of Gendo, allowing him to appreciate the fact that he would be re-united with his dead wife.
Responding to the hacking, Ritsuko Akagi upgrades the Magi’s security. Denied the ability to lock down NERV electronically, SEELE fields dozens of troops to take over NERV by force, to kill Gendo/Adam before he can merge with Lilith. SEELE desires a world of discernable individual souls, not the husband/wife dichotomy that Gendo/Adam hopes to achieve. Shinji and Asuka, both evangelion pilots, were hidden inside their respective evangelions to protect him from SEELE’s swarms. Rei, the other evangelion pilot, was standing with Gendo/Adam in front of Lilith. Rei was not fully human. She was a clone, with half of her DNA being Gendo’s dead wife’s, and the other half being Lilith’s. Because part of her soul was missing, residing inside Rei, Lilith was fated to never be able to heal, and remove her bindings.
Gendo/Adam told Rei to merge with him. Once that were done, Rei/Gendo/Adam would merge with Lilith: completing her, giving her the strength to remove her cross, and make all of humanity whole. Rei denied Gendo/Adam, and promptly merged with Lilith. Lilith, now complete with the part of her soul that was in Rei, and Rei’s mind, preceded to join with Shinji and his evangelion, instead. Rei said she loved Shinji, and desired his mind at the throne of the amalgamation of Lilith and Adam and the entirety of humanity. Lilith/Rei finds Shinji in his evangelion, surveying the devastation wrought by SEELE tearing through NERV’s feeble JSSDF defenses.
Near the second half of the movie, the final merge begins. From here on, the movie focuses on Shinji, and him being introspective. The Egg of Lilith, the container where all souls must go before they merge with Lilith, rises from beneath NERV, into Lilith’s hands, and she swells to planetary proportions, heavy with the collected souls of all humans. The merge is not fully realized, when Shinji, emerging from deep introspection, decides to halt and reverse the process. True, without ego borders, sadness and human drama would be extinguished, but so would pride and happiness. Lilith’s physical form dies, decomposes, and the egg explodes. The evangelion drifts into outer space.
Shinji wakes next to a sea of Lilith’s blood, LCL, primordial soup. Lying next to him is a hybrid of Asuka, Misato (his surrogate mother), and Rei: all objects of Shinji’s hidden lusts.
But perhaps Shinji again chained his mind about humanity’s worth, because he started to choke her. After a few seconds, Shinji stopped and cried. She looked up at him, and said, “how pathetic.”
The end.

Kabalistic themes abound in The End of Evangelion. Most obviously, on the ceiling of Gendo’s office is a picture of the Sepirothic Tree of Life, a kabalistic diagram for existence, and how God’s energy flows from Him, to humans, to the earth. According to kabalistic theory, God’s energy pattern can be categorized into three domains: the pillar of forms, the pillar of harmony, and the pillar of forces. When mercy and severity meet, it is possible to access the third column. The whole concept of merging the progenitor of angels, Adam, and the progenitor of humans, Lilith, to reverse-engineer a universal, godlike existence is very Kabalistic in nature. In Gendo’s office, his seat is directly below Keter, the topmost sphere, and the area that represents God at His purest we can experience Him. This nicely highlights Gendo’s god-complex by orchestrating humanity’s end. Before Shinji and his evangelion merge with Lilith, the Tree of Life appears around him, placing Shinji on Daath, the incomprehensible void between the finite human mind, and the infinite, supernal triad of cosmological forces: God, His infinite energy, and the infinite void into which infinite pours. In a scene before Rei goes with Gendo/Adam to Lilith, we see Rei floating in one vat of a system of vats, set up to look like the Tree of Life. In this instance as well, Rei’s vat corresponds to Daath, foreshadowing her immanent union with Lilith, then infinity.
Synthesis between the Tree of Life’s pillars occurs many other times, one of which being Rei, Asuka, and Misato, the three females involved in Shinji’s life enough for him to lust painfully for them. On all the Sephira, the stations of the tree of life, Rei closely corresponds to the infinite void, Binah. Before anything can exist, it first must be cloaked in death and barriers enough to dim God’s infinite light into the world of the finite. For this reason, Rei’s Sephira, Binah, is often called “the mother of all form. Rei often experiences anxiety because she possesses no real soul of her own. The physical form known as “Rei” knows she’s just a bag for Gendo’s wife’s DNA, and Lilith’s DNA. Through the series, she even died three times, only to be re-cloned. This is in the same way that Binah is also the “bag” for reality. To quote the Tao Te Ching, “We shape clay into a pot, but it is the emptiness inside that holds whatever we want.” Rei is just that bag. The virtuous aspect of Binah is “silence,” something Rei truly is. In the movie, she never speaks above a whisper. In the movie, we see a shot of one of the few things Rei has in her room, a pair of Gendo’s glasses. However, in this shot, the glasses were smashed. Throughout the series, Rei had always been obedient to Gendo, but due to her new love of Shiji, she was plotting against Gendo’s plan, and the glasses symbolize that “shattered” link. Rei’s developing feelings about Shinji show her character developing along Kabalistic lines: fatalism is the Klippot, or “that which slows down/disables God’s light.” By finding someone to fall in love with, she can overcome her more fatalistic attitudes.”
At the beginning of The End of Evangelion, Asuka is comatose in a hospital bed, deeply depressed about her inability to pilot her evangelion. Her extreme pride, the vice of Tipereth, led to hollowness, Tipereth’s Klippot. Her pride was backed by her devotion to being the best, “devotion” being the virtue of Tipereth, who hangs in the middle of the Tree, on the pillar of Harmony. Not surprisingly, that which Tipereth obligates is integrity, which Asuka lacks due to her quick-fire temper and willingness to impose upon others. Tipereth’s command is dare, which very much personifies Asuka. When she incapacitated twelve evangelions in three minutes is an excellent example of that.
Lastly, Misato Katsuragi is Netzach personified. Netzach is on the “forces” pillar, and represents something close to the Dionysian urge. With Hermetic (a large occult organization which uses much of Kabalah) symbology, Aphrodite is a very commonly used magical image for Netzach. Unfortunately, in the movie Misato died rather early on, but we still got to see some aspects of Netzach bleed through. Sometimes Netzach can project an illusion, a figure that isn’t quite what Netzach truly is. This illusion is projection: her, onto others. It may have looked like projecting, in a scene where she gave Shinji a deep kiss to drive home the gravity of her words. Though, it truly was a Netzachian action, because it was done for the very selfless reason of preventing global apocalypse. Responsibility is Netzach’s obligation, and the story certainly highlighted Misato’s difficulties with it, especially her domestic responsibilities. During Shinji’s introspective montage when all souls were becoming one, there was a scene of Shinji watching Misato have sex with a slightly accusatory look on his face. This is when Misato’s experiences and consciousness was merging with Shinji’s, and you could hear her protesting that she didn’t want to let her surrogate-child see that side of her.

The End of Evangelion is a confusing movie, even if you are intimately familiar with it’s backstory in Neon Genesis Evangelion. However, Anno Hideaki is no postmodern Dadaist when it came to his series and movie. There’s plenty to see and take in from the movie by watching it’s various Mise en Scène. I haven’t even started to write about the Freudian symbology, and the implications of lusting after someone who is half your mother.

developments, developments, developments.

2005-10-09T06:20:04Z

So apparently I'm the co-producer of Gypsy Tree Recording Collective.
Huh.
I'll prolly flesh this post more when I'm not in a business meeting.
*looks all important*

damiel_uthpatar @ 2005-10-04T15:11:00

2005-10-04T20:23:57Z

I've been feeling kinda wierd these past few weeks.
I'm used to cutting through reality, like how a ship cuts through water.
Lately, though, it's kinda been the other way around.

In other news, I FOUND MORE WEBLEY TO OBSESS OVER!!!
http://www.purevolume.com/jasonwebleybootlegs
there it has live versions of Hey Yeah, Old Man Time Ain't no Friend of Mine, and Viaje. If I can find whoever runs that site, I might upload my live version of the Smurf song, too.

I've also migrated to myspace, and am making a half-assed attempt to do something there.
http://www.myspace.com/bihrevmen
It's less than a week old and it shows, through the lack of content.

Countless joys and numerous faces

2005-09-05T20:38:35Z

I just finished watching The Truman Show.
The last time I saw it was when I was in 9th grade.
It's alot better this time around, since I realized it's about me.

And now, a survey.

2005-09-02T21:45:17Z

1. Go here.
2. Pass it on.

1.~How did you meet aceofpattern? I think I played volleyball with him in gym class.
2.~What would you do if you had never met hydraness? probably about the same thing I do normally.... Sorry Hydra, you aren't that influential on my life. :P
3.~What do you honestly think of is_fat_and_ugly? He's totally awesome and I'm sad that he's moving to california. We should have spent alot more time together.
4.~Would or did tgunter and __derivativeofu go out? Despite their mutual interest in Photogtraphy... hell no.
5.~Have you ever liked kriquet? I *LOVE* Kriquet! (I'm still not gonna be a furry, tho. :P)
6.~If itspitsacid died tomorrow, what is one thing that you would need him/her to know? I'd ask a favor of her to hunt me out after she died so she could tell me what it was like. I've always wanted to know.
7.~Would mr_unborn and animal_eyes make a good couple? naaah. I don't think they're eachother's type.
8.~Describe tgunter in 3 words: One Sick Monkey
9.~Do you think dragonkin451 is hot? It's been a while since I've seen him, but... yes. Yes I do.
10.~Would itspitsacid and kuponutmalt make a lovely couple? It'd certianly be h4wt. :P
11.~What do you think of when you see __derivativeofu? You look uncannily like Maggie. Suprising you two aren't related.
12.~Tell me something humiliating about animal_eyes: She likes to be nekkid! wait...
13.~Do you know any of cr1ms0nbl4d3's family members? nope
14.~What's tgunter's favorite color? no idea
15.~On a scale of 1-10 how cute is skankingurl3? After much thought, I'm not gonna lie to you. You're a 7 or 8.
16.~What would you do if lisainabox just professed their undying love for you? Be very suprised, followed with wondering how long she's been doing drugs.
17.~What language does tgunter speak? terran basic
18.~Who is fadingxstars going out with? I don't think anybody
19.~Is mailseth a boy or a girl? he's a guy
20.~Would stjudesshipper and lisainabox make a good couple? They'd be... interesting. I don't know either of them well enough to make such a call though.
21.~Who do you think noctuarist would be great with from this list? He'd probably get along with Kuponutmalt really well.
22.~When was the last time you talked to dragonkin451? I think at the begining of summer
23.~What is kriquet's favorite band? ...one orchestrated by Sousa?
24.~Does mr_unborn have any siblings? Yes, one named David
25.~Would you ever date cr1ms0nbl4d3? hard to say, but I'm thinking no.
26.~Would you ever date tgunter? No, but I could imagine people finding him attractive.
27.~Is noctuarist single? I sure as fuck hope he's followed through and dumped Kathrine. Or will dump her in the immediate future.
28.~What is tgunter's last name? I bet the inernet would love to know. But it probably does. Gunter.
29.~What is stjudesshipper's middle name? no idea.
30~What is is_fat_and_ugly's fantasy? probably something involving televisions, amorphous pools of flesh, and mind magic.
31.~Where does mailseth live? Champage-Urbana now, I think.
32.~Would you make out with aceofpattern? Hell yeah I would. Not finding him attractive is entirely beside the point.
33.~Are hydraness and cr1ms0nbl4d3 best friends? I think... they've met.
34.~Does tgunter like tgunter? I haven't spoke with him in such a long time, so it's hard to say. But I'm going to say "yes."
35.~How did you meet stjudesshipper? Either she rolled with Alicia, or she rolled with Black Robin who rolled with Alicia. This was way before the days when I ate lunch in the sunlit foyer.
36.~Is dragonkin451 older than you? Nope. I think he's two years younger.
37.~Is kuponutmalt the sexiest person alive? She's up there. Go gnymphs.net! I wanna be your shareholder.

The mask of the gamer is the oldest mask I have. Now it's time to break it.

2005-09-01T02:48:10Z

TrevorMGunter
9:30
Heya Drew.

Drew Price
9:32
hey
I've decided to quit computer gaming.

TrevorMGunter
9:32
What led to that decision?

Drew Price
9:35
It dosen't expand my mind, my social skills, or anything, really. All it does is eat up my time which can be spent by other things better. With even reading I can expand my knoweldge when I stick to the classics like Dune. This ban will not extend to social gaming, multiplayer games can and do improve social skills through tabletalk.
Solo gaming lacks tabletalk

TrevorMGunter
9:37
I'd argue that it depends heavily on the game. While a solo game may not involve much in the lines of social interaction, some tell stories as capably as novels, and some exercise your critical thinking and logical capabilities.

Drew Price
9:39
still, games tell their stories far slower than a book, and it's been a *long* time since I've played a game that didn't totally stress my strategic brain more than just 20% of the time. Other 80 = repeating that stratagey

Well computer gaming, it's been fun. I don't know how long we've been together, but I have a feeling it's been ever since I could point and click with the old 512's mouse. Console games, I've loved you since before we ever got our SNES: Zelda and Paperboy on our cousin's NES was wonderful beyond compare.

Afterword from the Authors

2005-08-29T05:31:25Z

"The drama is over, but it has only begun.
Obviously, some of the details in the Mage universe are exracted from real life practices and events. However, the silver strings connecting the fictional game counterparts to the real structures sometimes get lost in the mix. It's all too easty to pretend to fight the Technocracty while ignoring the lack of imagination that seems to prevade the real world. It's easy to see blood-drinking monsters responsible for every sin against humanity. It's much too easy to literalize the monsters.
Magic is a creative act. No matter what king of mage you are, all your rituals, foci, apparatuses and procedures are all expressions of you. There's a reason Hermetics call magic the Art. The artist, the lover and the mage are all aspects of each other. They all create, weather their works are a symphony, a summoning, or ecstacy. Even a scientist can approach his work as an essential creative act that enriches the soul of humanity.
The Final Nights might not actually be upon us, but there's a sense of unease, disintrest and general apathy in the air. It's easier, quicker, and less worrisome to hook ourselves up to The Machine than create our own happiness. Vampiric sorcerers don't pull the strings of the world, but there are too many people siphoning power from misery.
This is your world, and this is your reality. Cast out the vampires and create anew.
-- Scott Cohen

I have no sage wisdom to despense save this; every belief is a choice.
The acceleration due to gravity, the value of a dime and the degree to which the Divine exists are all values we choose either embrace of deny. For the most part, we embrace those "truths" that are approved for common consumption. In so doing, we empower those who bring us this information without ever really questioning their motives or the validity of their mandates. We have no desire to find out for ourselves anymore. Chained to the mundane, we surf the 'net, read the paper, watch the news and buy our favorite magazines, devour their contents and taing on the faith thee fallible (and oftentimes, darkly self-motivated) Law of the Masses.
IF coming into such proximity with the Order has helped me cement anything in my mind, it is that we must elevate ourselves. If we do not, the dream of something better vanishes, replaced by an unending mediocrity and a steady descent toward the lowest common denominator. The world you have been accepting is without any value beyond that which you bestow upon it. Remember, somewhere, an unseen architect of reality we too often take for granted profits whenever a miracle of the modern world is unveiled, and we reply, "Amen."
Believe whatever you desire, and never let anyone call you crazy for it. As ye harm none, do as thou wilt. The image-obsessed, bloodthirsty, sensationalistic world outside your window is the real madhouse. Silent assent is a security blanket, and it's time to put that blanket aside aside and face the monsters before there are no heroes left to do battle with the dragon. It takes a supreme effort of will to put aside what the rest of teh species takes on faith, in favor of forging one's own path twoard one's own truth.
Hey. You there, with the Mage book...
I don't suppose by any chance you know anything at all about that?
-- Stephen Michael DiPesa"

Like that, with a modernist twist.

Going out to Mrs. Barnes

2005-08-19T22:02:59Z

I'm fufilling Bridget's wildest fantasies by saying this:

1. Reply with your name and I'll respond with something random about you.
2. I'll tell you what song/movie reminds me of you.
3. I'll pick a flavor of jello to wrestle with you in.
4. I'll say something that only makes sense to you and me (maybe/maybe not).
5. I'll tell you my first memory of you.
6. I'll tell you what animal you remind me of.
7. I'll ask you something that I've always wondered about you.
8. If I do this for you, you must post this on your journal.

Droo Religous Beliefs

Section 1: intro

Smoking is sinful. I can physically feel my creative brain rushed... but at the expense of my non-stoned creative brain. It's like a psychic vampire, THC, a brain parasite.

Section 2a: part one
See livejournal post "And now, another episode of Hubris Theatre."
http://www.livejournal.com/users/damiel_uthpatar/16061.html

Section 2b: part two
We live in sinful times.
Do I believe in the Devil?
Yes... but certianly not in the Christian sense. I believe, I have seen with my very own 3rd eye, certian Nephandic Dark Lords.
So is there a main dark lord, one that rules over all?
Most Probably. I'd say "yes" even though I haven't seen him yet.
And the Sith? With the geek roleplaying refrence and the lovcraft allusion, how about going two for two wit da sith?
The sith are... knights of th dark lords; Fomor who sup with and serve wyrmspirits. Jedi knights are lower arete magi, Jedi masters are a combination of Oracles and Arcmagi. We live in dark times to have the number of low-arete nephandi outnumber low-arete Jedi knights (or at least seem that way because philosophers either were never meant to rule, or just don't currently. I'm guessing they were never meant to rule).
It's a battle of dualistic forces, life is. One wishes you good times and the frame of mind for ascension, the other offers distraction and hatered. Most people don't notice these tides, and most awakened lack the willpower to do anything about it. But it takes a truly great Jedi to posess the will to grab hold of their life and take the uphill walk to god. More people are probably in the inferno (highest levels, of course), than even at the foot of mount Purgatory
Wait.... Christianity?
No, I'm just using it as an example, a symbol. See, everything can be used as a symbol. Our whole existence can be represented pictorically, epically, artistically, poetically. Just as I am Droo Pryce going to college with a whole life and career ahead of me in the indefinite future, so am I Droo Pryce, hero, star of the epic tale which is my life. Everyone's the protagonist in their own epic. Yes fate exists to the extent of you're always going to have a rising action climax and falling action et cetera, but It's up to you and your w¥ill to determine how e¥pic your epic will be. E¥pic epics are the path the Good and Ascension are found. Of course bear in mind that I'm changing the criteria for what you need to have done to be where in the Divine Comedy. Probably drastically, because I've only read the first book of it.
I guess I'll have to finish that next.

Take the quiz at dicepool.com

You are the rare, the overlooked, yet incredibly useful dodecahedron: the d12. You are a creative, romantic soul. You often act without thinking, but make up for your lack of plans with plenty of heart. You easily solve problems that stump others, but your answers tend to put you into even deeper trouble. You write long, detailed backgrounds for all your characters, and are most likely to dress up as one or get involved in cos-play. You can be silly at times and are easily distracted by your own day dreams, but are at the end of the day you're someone who can be depended on.

EDIT: Cleaning out Dad's refrigerator, and the milk jug has INFLATED to what looks like the max (with a cap on, that is). If only I had a camera.
Expiration date: July 8. Delicous!

Lost and Found

2005-08-14T02:24:03Z

You don't need powers to be a hero.
You don't need to be a firefighter
or a poliece officer
or anything like that to be a hero.
You don't even need to play basketball
to be a rolemodel.

You scored as Master Vile.

</td>

Master Vile

75%

Rita Repulsa

67%

Goldar

58%

Lord Zedd

58%

Rito Repulsa

58%

Finster

50%

Ivan Ooze

50%

Queen Machina

50%

Baboo

42%

King Mondo

42%

Squatt

42%

Scorpina

33%

Divatox

33%

Prince Sprocket

25%

Which Power Rangers Villain Are You?
created with QuizFarm.com

The world truly is a Lovecraftian place.

Zug zug.

2005-08-11T00:32:16Z

You scored as Yoda.

</td>

Yoda

69%

Chewbacca

67%

Darth Vader

58%

General Grievous

56%

Emperor Palpatine

56%

Anakin Skywalker

50%

Mace Windu

44%

R2-D2

42%

Clone Trooper

33%

Obi Wan Kenobi

31%

Padme Amidala

28%

C-3PO

25%

Which Revenge of the Sith Character are you?
created with QuizFarm.com

I'm Not Dead Yet!

2005-08-09T22:10:10Z

You guys totally had the opportunity to kill me just now, as I quoted Monty Python and revealed my red flashing Mega-nerd Core. See, I'm like an SNES boss.

the Idiot Savant

(50% dark, 42% spontaneous, 42% vulgar)

your humor style:
VULGAR | SPONTANEOUS | LIGHT

You like things silly, immediate, and, above all, outrageous. Ixne on the subtle word play, more testicles on fire, please. People like you are the most likely to RECEIVE internet forwards--and also the most likely to save them in a special folder entitled 'HOLY SHIT'.

Because it's so easily appreciated, and often wacky and physical, your sense of humor never ceases to amuse your friends. Most realize that there's a sly intelligence and a knowing wink to your tastes. Your sense of humor could be called 'anti-pretentious'--but paradoxically enough, that indicates you're smarter than most.

PEOPLE LIKE YOU: Johnny Knoxville - Jimmy Kimmel

AND FINALLY -- after you rate my test with a sweet, sweet '5' -- you must take this test next: The Genghis Khan Genetic Fitness Test. It's not mine, but it rocks.

My test tracked 3 variables How you compared to other people your age and gender:

You scored higher than 37% on dark
You scored higher than 50% on spontaneous
You scored higher than 75% on vulgar

Link: The 3 Variable Funny Test written by jason_bateman on Ok Cupid

Hey guys. I'm sure you're just dying to hear what I have to say in this latest update because I haven't talked at you en masse in quite a while. You all probably know a fair deal of what's going on in my life at the moment, sans the anxieties that I rarely voice with my mouth.
I'm living in an apartment with Mat now. Kinda. 90 percent of the time he's holed up in his own room with the door closed, I think with it locked as well. Practically the only time I see him is when he's going to the bathroom and passes by my open bedroom door, and when happen to both be in the kitchen at the same time.
Speaking of food, I'm invited to my cousin's boyfriend's suprise birthday party this evening. He's teh bad d00d that made the entry about my brother's suprise wedding. My family is just full of suprises, I guess *shrugs nonchalantly.* Emily threw Seth a suprise batchelor's party last thursday. Mikaela seemed to need some "extra encouragement" to get the hell out of my room and drive me to Rocky's, where it was going down. I hadn't eaten all day, but because I was so late I didn't get to eat my fill, though I still consumed a mighty weight (huh?) of pizza. Those who paid for the excursion (Emily and Barbie (One of Seth & Em's best friends( I think)) wanted me to drink a mighty weight of beer as well, because they had nearly an entire pitcher left when I arrived. I had a couple glasses, maybe three, but stopped when people were making movements twoard the door. The party then moved to the genetics computer lab, which Barbie's boyfriend was the admin of. Then, much playing of Starcraft happened, followed up by the playing of much UT2K4. I made a perhaps racist joke about needing to "play like a Korean" with Starcraft because people misthought that I'd rock their socks because I've recently started playing the Starcraft missions again. Later I noticed an asian was in the room and felt bad that I may have inadvertently insulted him. 'Suppose I'll pull an "irrasponsable white male" and blame the booze. XD After it was over I didn't have a ride back so I walked through downtown (yay for sticking to lit streets!) to my apartment. Didn't take long, only about an hour. I thought it was kinda interesting that when I started hearing sirens I relaxed and got the "home sweet home" feeling. I've been running the celing fan and keeping the window open at night because the AC does a terrible job of reaching my room while I slumber, so the sounds of sirens and otherwise Fish Hatchery traffic drift into my room at all hours of the day.
So yeah. Food. When you're poor like me, you have to accept every offer for someone else to feed you. XD Last month I had to miss a couple days of farmer's market, and needing to wind up borrowing 250 (okay, I think I only *needed* 150, but having some "floating money" is always a good thing). One such time I couldn't do State Street was because I was expirencing my first hangover. Yay? I had anywhere from three to nine drinks, most probably around six. Damn you Patty for keep handing me drinks! *shakes fist* Well, something good (besides extra wisodm and expierence) came of the hangover. as I quickly found out just about the slightest movement of my stomach or the putting of anything into it will result in a torrential rain of vomit. This meant that I *had* to assemble my computer so I complacently sit on my ass for hours at a time. It's still kinda buggy in that for some reason Wintermute isn't recognizable when it's running on the Master setting, so it's on Slave and the CD drive is on Master. All this really means is that Wintermute can't be read as quickly as I'd like. I've already missed a FM this month... so I'm gonna have to get on getting a better-paying job asap. Finish Bar School, Droo! It'll be awesome!

But more importantly, perhaps one of the most important *EVENTS OF MY LIFE* was me seeing Jason Webley perform two nights in a row, and then sleeping under the same roof as him. But I don't feel like typing no mo', so I'll make another entry later. Maybe with pictures, if I get the opportunity to steal them off of Bridget's LJ. :P